The Sacred Mission
A systematic, divinely-inspired, and financially prudent approach to gathering every Phelddagrif in existence.
Our Vision
To acquire, preserve, and unite every Phelddagrif card in existence, thereby fulfilling the Reserved List Prophecy and achieving the Great Lavender Ascension— a state of simultaneous spiritual awakening and unprecedented asset appreciation.
"We do not buy cards. We fulfill prophecy."
The Four Steps to Ascension
Through sacred TCGPlayer alerts, eBay saved searches, and whispered tips from local game store prophets, we locate Phelddagrifs that have not yet found their way home.
Our network spans 47 countries. No listing escapes our gaze. We have infiltrated every major marketplace. The algorithm serves us now.
With funds blessed by the High Treasurer, we complete the sacred transaction. We do not 'buy cards.' We liberate imprisoned divinities.
Each purchase is preceded by the Ritual of Cart Addition and the Meditation of Shipping Selection (always insured, for the prophecy must be protected).
The reclaimed Phelddagrif is placed in a KMC Perfect Fit inner sleeve, then an Ultimate Guard Katana outer sleeve. Double-sleeving is not optional. It is scripture.
Temperature-controlled storage. Humidity monitoring. UV-protective display cases. We take no chances with eternity.
As our collection grows, so does our spiritual and material wealth. The prophecy states: when the last Phelddagrif joins the Herd, the Great Lavender Ascension shall begin.
Current projections suggest total market capture by 2087. Patience is a virtue. Compound interest is a blessing. The hippo is eternal.
The Global Herd Map
A real-time visualization of our reach. Each illuminated cell represents a region where Phelddagrifs have been reclaimed.
Questions from the Uninitiated
Market manipulation implies deception. We are transparent in our goals. We seek to acquire every Phelddagrif because we believe in the spiritual and financial value of the Great Lavender One. Is it manipulation to believe in something? No. It is faith. Very legal, very cool faith.
The Reserved List has stood since 1996. It has survived corporate acquisitions, format changes, and countless calls for abolition. The Seal of Eternal Limitation is protected by the most powerful force in the multiverse: collector confidence and implicit contractual obligation. The list shall hold. The hippos shall remain finite.
We are exactly as serious as the situation warrants. The Phelddagrif is a 4/4 flying purple hippopotamus that gives your opponents hippos, life, and cards. Are you serious? Because we think it's pretty funny too. But also: the hippo is eternal. Lavender be upon you.
The mission is clear. The path is illuminated. Will you walk it with us?
Join The Order